I have known since High School that I would have a ministry that included dealing with demonic spirits. I didn’t really know what that meant since it wasn’t talked about in the church I grew up in, but I knew it was true. In my mid twenties I started praying for God to place me under a mentor for training in this area, still not knowing what it would entail. Shortly thereafter, I learned of Vision Life Ministries. After the first class in the School of Deliverance Ministry, I knew it was where I belonged and have been involved with VLM for about 5 years. Much has changed since that first class.
One of the biggest changes Jesus brought to my life through VLM was how I looked at myself. I grew up in a household of 4 girls and 1 boy. My Dad was an alcoholic who at times was abusive to my mother. Dad didn’t pay much attention to me or my siblings, even though we craved it. My Mom was always there for us, but she was filled with rage towards my dad and her own father – which was usually taken out on us. Consequently, I had a lot of rage and low self-esteem. God sovereignly delivered me from rage when I was about 16, but low self-esteem kept hanging on. On the outside you would never know it. I was very popular and active in various school programs. Although I didn’t date much, when I did, it was usually with alcoholics or drug addicts. Even though I didn’t struggle with either of these addictions – these were the men I was attracted to. I wanted to be loved but didn’t think I deserved it. I didn’t want to marry someone like my Dad, but I didn’t think anyone else would want me.
I know now that my Dad loved me; he just didn’t know how to show it. He wouldn’t hug and kiss me or tell me he loved me. As a result, a wound was formed that allowed Satan to introduce a lie into my life of, "You’re ugly, you’re fat, you’re stupid; no decent man would ever want you!" That phrase went through my mind every day. It was who I was. When people would tell me I was beautiful, talented, smart, etc, I would laugh at them. My ears heard what they said, but my heart couldn’t believe it. It was like the words hit me and bounced back to the person that said them. I lived my life believing these lies. I lived in fear waiting for people to "find me out" that I wasn’t as smart or pretty as people thought I was.
When I went through my first deliverance session, that lying spirit was cast out. I no longer heard that phrase going through my mind. The problem now was that I believed the lies. Over a period of time I had to renew my mind in that area and see myself as God sees me. It was shortly after all of this that God opened my eyes to a wonderful Christian man who loves me and treats me with respect just as God intended. We have been married for a little over two years. If I hadn’t gone through deliverance, I know my life would be much different then it is today.
Thank you Henry and Tina and the entire team, I am truly blessed and consider it an honor to be a part of this ministry.
